Couple
weeks ago I read on my friend's blog about friendship that goes into a
wrong path. The ones that used to be good, close friends gradually
changed into a sour ones. Or sometimes because the differences between
each heads can draw into disagreement that can lead to the silent
treatment for a while or forever.
Though,
often people just change for no reason. Including ourselves too. And
we think we can't be friends with them anymore because we have done
something wrong or they crossed a path with us. Or simply because they
are toxic. Actually they are not toxic, just irritating and at a
different page of life. They haven't done anything wrong or vice versa,
the issue is simply that we have very little in common and have
different outlooks on life and different values. They have a rather
naïve way of looking at things and are somewhat immature. They remind
me very much of being 16 again.
They
are also called circumstantial friends, people you get along with in
particular circumstance, like workplace but you don't share much in
common outside of this. Normally once you leave a job you can fade out
of contact. But that was before FB - Facebook :)
Personally,
I often struggled with friendship and started to think it must be me
the one that weird or wrong. I used to try hard to fit into their
circumstance, which was deeply in my heart I knew I didn't like it, it
was just not my style at all. But because I needed social status so I
played their game. Sometimes I could shut my mouth but more often I
couldn't and usually I would end up in a heated argument or unpleasant
situation.
Some people just seem really superficial and so full of shits
that I can't handle anymore. Some I think they are 'frenemies' you
know you are friends but also enemies with them.
Maybe
it's because I'm getting older that my vision and value of life have
changed and I become more stubborn and opinionated. Also as you get
older, you realize that people drift in and out of your life and it's
OK.
Now that I'm more comfortable with my life in general I know what
is right and wrong for me. I don't care if I only have one or two
friends in my life as long as they are really my truth friends, who know
me better inside and outside, who won't betrayed or back-stabbing me. I
reckon your high school/university/college/childhood friends are truly
your old good friends because they had grown-up with you through every
thing in life that they won't judge you very easy when you make mistake
and vice versa.
The background of your friends is also important. When
you have similar background i.e. through work or college or growing up
together it's easier to understand and follow the flow of the
conversation. Let's say when you meet someone either through book
club, art class, or diving group at least you will have a similarity or
same common interest.
I
guess in the end of the day, friends are like lollies. They are
colorful, different taste and shape. It depends on what taste or shape
you'd like to have. You can't have all the lollies all at once though,
it's not good for your health and your dentist bill will go up :)
No comments:
Post a Comment