restless soul

 

Sometimes mister hubby asks if we would be willing to pack up and travel around in our ute for a year.  I don't take him seriously and I can't say I am entirely keen on the idea too.  But lately I have been thinking about packing up the house and just go.  More likely actually I have been wanting to live somewhere else.  I am itchy to move out of this city life to somewhere new, new scenery and experience.  With that, I want to build a new life, life that I've been dreaming for so long. I always want to do something besides being a mother.  But this something at the moment is a bit absurd, impossible, uncertain, to be achieved.  

Maybe I am a bit of hippy or what, or maybe I am bored ( but I am not allowed to be bored because my life is wonderful and easy! ) and just feeling a bit low.  I always feel like I want to move after couple years of living in the same place.  When I was a couple months old my parents moved from the town I was born to another town.  We stayed there for a year or so then we packed up and moved to another island.  Couple years on this island we moved to another town before we made our way to the big city where I spent most of my childhood and adulthood.  When I got married, my newly hubby took me to this city where we live now.  Though we then moved to another country for couple years then we came back here with a new additions to our family.

Since then we moved house twice, then that's it we settled.  It took me almost five years or more to build a friendship with the people that I have known now and to be comfortable in my own skin.  I am a bit slow learner in building a relationship with people, either they are western or asian.

I love this life I live, don't get me wrong.  I love my little family with my whole heart.  We have a home that big enough for us.  We have good job in that we watch the dollars we spend.  And yet, at times I still long for ever changing scenery.  It's the practical versus emotional debate and it's a heavy one.  My practical side tells me it's not fair to just take my boys away from school and their friends.   Because they also have their own life.  Though some say children are easy to make new friends.

I have to remember it's no longer about me and how I want to spend my day.  I have family to care for and consider.  I go on with the norm from day to day, because the norm is my life right now.

I want to raise my boys with the "go, see, do" mentality.  I want them to recognize how wonderful traveling can broaden their horizon. It can mold and define them.  I want them to learn to live life from traveling.

Meanwhile I will keep planting the seed and let it sit in the event that one day I may grow some nuts.

note: Dear N & D, never stay stagnant.  Even while you are sitting in one place, may your soul be jumping :)