an up date

I haven't written in this blog for quiet a long time. Not that I was very occupied with life in general, it was just my brain was fried for a while. Some nights I sat in front of my laptop and thought would share some of my thoughts in this space. But suddenly, my brain went blank and my fingers froze.

Tonight, after spent most of the day being occupied with Easter mass in the morning, followed by picnicking at the river for the whole afternoon, and then dropped by at friend's house and ended up stayed until dinner time, I was pretty knackered but can't sleep. It's school holiday for another two weeks so I don't need to arise as early as 7.30am and no need to make lunch boxes....yaayyy! The kids is fast asleep since 8.30pm, they are buggered I reckon from playing and swimming the whole afternoon. My husband has gone offshore since a week ago....yup, I hate Easter without my complete family, feel so lonely, so widowed, so orphanaged!

Our life in general is doing fine. I was busy enough dealing with house building, I had gone as far as north of Perth to choose for shower screen, sliding doors, lights, and not to mention flooring and pool. I also chose and made the final decision for all the colors of the walls and feature walls, ceiling, doors, etc. All in all, my DH and I are satisfied and pretty content with the result. I'll be proud enough to say that I'm the interior designer for our house.

The time to move into the new house is getting closer. At the moment we are just waiting for the flooring to be installed then here we go....packing and unpacking again, hopefully this is will be the last time or at least not until another five years! I pray hard and hope that my -always-offshore-husband- will be around when the time is come. Honestly, I'm not that superwoman who can manage every thing by myself. Though, if worse come to worse happened and if the situation forced me to do so I have no other choice.

At least I have flown my Mum to help me with the moving and the kids. Not to mention in the middle of this chaos I will be also hosting a birthday party for my Boys. I have promised and bribed them that I would buy them lotsa pressies as long as we just celebrate it at home with mummy's home-made birthday cake. But, since they will turn five they want to invite almost the whole class of the pre-primary and half of the other class! So, I think we will have around twenty two or so kids on the 24th of April. I hope some of them can't make it:p Not that I'm a meanie mum....but omegosh, how am I gonna cope with moving and packing and preparing birthday celebration??? But called me a weak mum, I just can't say NO to those beautiful faces of my Boys, somehow my Boys, sure mummy will work on her fairy magic and voila... you're going to have a party!

Nathan and Dylan are doing pretty good in Pre-Primary. They even came out from their shells. They are not shy anymore as they used to be when they were in Kindy. One day when I was picking them up at school, one mother came to me and said: " The boys can talk now!" At first I didn't know how should I react. Of course my Boys can talk! But then I take it as a compliment. I know she means good. The teacher said Nathan and Dylan are popular amongst the children, they always make other kids laugh with their silly dance or just doing silly things....hmmm...:p Other mum also told me that her daughter can't stop talking about Dylan being so funny.

In their second week in Pre-Primary, Nathan got his first merrit award for the beautiful family drawing he drew, followed by Dylan for the crazy characters he transform into when in the dress up area! Can you imagine...what is he going to be? The Boys enjoy the school, especially Nathan. He just loves drawing and now non-stop writing numbers and practising his alphabets sounds. I will be still asleep when he often comes to my bed and asks me to count the number he has written! While Dylan sometime whines a bit about going to school every day. But then once he's in he forgets about me in a second, I have to drag him to kiss me good bye :-) Dylan's writing and drawing has improved so much since he's in Pre-Primary.

Both of them got pretty good report from the school. The only point that they need to develop is their good use of manner. Omegod!!! I feel so embarrased when I read this. I meant, how many times I keep telling them to say thank you, please, may I, can I have it please, etc, etc, about being a good manner. At home they pretty good in it. That's why it comes to a horror for me, well a bit. I think because they are still a bit shy especially to those who they are not really close/know well they tend to shut down. It often happens when we are out in restaurant and they wanted the lollies, I would have told them to ask for it themselves. And it often ends with tears because they want me to do it and I don't want to do it. Sometime I have to threath them, I know how bad mother I am, but how difficult it is just to ask please can I have lollies and thank you...? It's frustrated me but I keep working on it. They probably got it from my genes. I remember I was so shy and not confident when I was around 10 - 12 years old. I had changed a lot in my personality and confidence since I worked and lived overseas. That's why I do not want them to be like me. Especially they are boys. I want them to be independent, confident, and polite.

Besides that I think they are growing to be an outgoing children pretty much. They love to swim, in the pool or at the beach, they love climbing the trees so much! I feel that I can enjoy them now better than when they were babies. Sometimes I think I don't want them to grow up that quick I want them still like they are now.

In my friendship department I am starting to make friends with some of the mothers from school. We haven't gone to have coffee together yet, but at least the conversation is not limited only with Yes or No answers. And I am making effort to talk to them and I have not given up yet even though some of them still   
just give me the yes or no answers. I have no expectation to become good buddies or get invited to the car park mafia mums, but I'm trying my best to know some of them a bit better.

I used to ignore them or even avoid them when the Boys were in Kindy. It wasn't because I didn't like them, but at that time I have felt I had given all my efforts to become friends with them with no success at all. I found it very hard to have a proper conversation with them, either they just gave me the yes or no answers or sometimes they even didn't hear me. So I decided to avoid them, I would always come right on nine o'clock to drop off the Boys and five minutes late to pick them up so that I don't have to talk or even see them. I didn't really know what's wrong with myself, maybe it is written on my forehead WATCH OUT....SHE'S A BITCH, but those mothers were very very hard to talk to. First I felt sad and hurt, then I didn't care and stop talking to them completely. I only said hello, hi, smiled and gone.

Then my brain was starting to work again. If I want Nathan and Dylan to have friends at school and not to be shy I should start to make a different. That's when I decided that I will keep on trying to talk to the Mums. One day maybe I will find my own car park mafia...:p

I think now it's enough for my up date. I'm looking forward to move in to a new house and can't wait to decorate and maybe with a little bit luck I can pursue my darling husband for some new furniture. I am content with my life and enjoy being a mother for my children and wife to my vegemite head :D