I am a total bitch at the moment. Not proud of that but can't help.
Sometimes,
I feel like I just need a break, just for few days for being a wife and
mother. Just for few days to exist as my myself, on my own terms. To
think. To appreciate what I have. To not compare.
I
have this kind of melt down every so often and my husband always says
to me " this is because you always have an easy life, never to think
about work the next day, and bla..bla...bla..." that I don't even want
to hear. Why? Because it's true, well some of what he thoughts not all
of them. I don't feel like I have an easy life totally, because believe
me there were times when I had to deal and juggle every thing by myself
on my own when my husband was away. Which I felt he had been away quiet a
lot of time in the past, but not according to him and he became so
defensive about it and we ended up in bitter argument! There were times
when I have to deal with my own health and sanity. And it wasn't easy.
My
term of an easy life are: a) you have full time maid who do every thing
from cleaning the house until minding your children b) your family is
living near/around the corner so you can reach them when you need them
c) you can go lunch here and there , dinner out as often as you like,
party like a superstar d) shopping free with no limitation e) always on
holidays destinations f) children are just your accessories so you can
dress them up as cute as Suri Holmes or Shiloh Pitt and people will envy
you because you have gorgeous children, and the last g) having a
handsome George Clooney look a like, smart, rich and not a stingy husband .
That's my easy life!
Do
I have all those terms above? Unfortunately not. But I still have an
easly life in the eye of my husband. And I know I am being
spoilt-brat-person in here. I know how incredibly lucky I am to have
children and have them be healthy and to have a partner and enormous
support. I know others do it far tougher and some women don't even have
children as much as they desperately would love to. So forgive me if you
fall into that category. Yes, I do feel churlish about even voicing
complaints like this.
Maybe I just want to complain about my husband, or it's just me being
a damn woman with too much manner? Does anybody else have ever felt
that kind of feeling? Like you just being stuck as a mother and wife,
you dedicate or slave yourself for your children and husband and at the
end of the day you feel empty and not happy?
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